LISTENING LEADS TO UNDERSTANDING

Another great minute from MarriageVine Ministries!!!

Excerpt: When two people are talking at the same time, no one is listening. Consequently, there is no communication. FOR CONVERSATIONS TO BE MEANINGFUL IT REQUIRES TALKING AND LISTENING.

WOW!! Is this hard for some of us to DO? Evidently it is because I find myself talking and not listening. Just recently, I discovered that if I had listened to my friend concerns about his aging mother, I would have understood why spending time with his family is so important when he comes home. He left home for college at the age of 18 and has not returned since for an extended period of time. Actually, it has been since 1992 and every time he comes home he says, " I can see that my mom has aged". After he communicated this to me, I had so much sympathy for him because I get to see my mom everyday. Sometimes, we need to put ourselves in the other person shoes to understand.

So, once again, I urge YOU to listen because it can lead to understanding.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO READ BETWEEN THE CRITICISMS

I love marriage vine ministries. I haven't been reading them as I should. They just offer so much needed information for families. One that has stuck with me since I read it was "READING BETWEEN THE CRITICISMS".

Excerpt from the minute, "If your spouse often criticizes you for not "helping them", they are telling you that acts of service is their love language". PEOPLE TEND TO CRITICIZE THEIR SPOUSE MOST LOUDLY IN THE AREA WHERE THEY THEMSELVES HAVE THE DEEPEST EMOTIONAL NEED.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I find myself criticizing my friends for not spending time with me. "Spending Time" is one of my love languages. I love to spend time with a person that I adore. This is how I get closer and to mention that I LOVE TO TALK!!!

My issue is that my friend from Memphis will not come to Mississippi. I have known him for four years but he makes excuses that it is too far and that he does not like driving. So, we have not been to a movie together in months because I decided to stop driving 30 to 40 minutes to watch a movie with him. I could not seem to understand why I was bothered about this. But, this minute explained it very well. IT'S MY LOVE LANGUAGE.

So, I urge everyone to know the LOVE LANGUAGE OF YOURSELF and OTHERS IN YOUR LIFE. FOR MY MOM, IT IS DEFINITELY "ACTS OF SERVICE".

CLUTTER RESCUE!!!!!

648 P485C c.1

Foreword: This book is for anyone who has spent 20 minutes looking for the remote, moved homework to put dinner on the table, searched high and low for that favorite sweater-only to find it crumpled under a stack of dirty clothes-or missed paying a bill on time because it was stuffed in a junk drawer.

I have an issue with clutter. I have never been an organized person. I know this is not a good system. However, I did attempt to organize my closet after an assignment in my "organization of information" class. It did not last very long... me applying these principles. So when I saw this book a couple of weeks ago, I took it home but it took some days before I looked through the pages of it. Chapter 2 was a major interest for me because my bedroom is where I live. It is too small for what I do. I have a computer and computer desk in my bedroom. This takes up a lot of space. And, there are tons of written papers, past assignments, and articles that I am holding on to until I take my "proficiency exam" next summer. So, I definitely needed some advice on how to de-clutter my bedroom.

TIPS THAT I AM USING:

• STORAGE IN STYLE: I AM USING MY LUGGAGE TO STORE SEASONAL CLOTHES. PERHAPS, I CAN FORGO MY MONTHLY STORAGE BILL WHICH IS MAINLY BECAUSE OF CLOTHES.
• THE CLOTHES QUESTION: I HAVE MORE THAN I CARE TO MENTION. MOST OF THEM ARE TOO SMALL THAT ARE HANGING IN MY CLOSET AND IT HAS BEEN MORE THAN A YEAR SINCE I HAVE WORN THEM.
• THE CLOSET RULES: I AM TRYING TO HANG LESS CLOTHES AND USE SOME OF MY AVAILABLE DRAWERS. ALSO, I AM TRYING TO KEEP MY SHIRTS, JEANS, AND SKIRTS TOGETHER. HOPEFULLY, THIS WILL ELIMINATE SOME OF MY GET READY FOR WORK STRESS.
• SIMPLE UNDER BED BOXES: GREAT FOR MY PILES OF PAPERS ON MY COMPUTER DESK.

GOOD NEWS

I was excited to hear TODAY that funding has come through for LAMP SCHOLARS. THANKS LAURA BUSH!!!

IT'S OK IF YOU'RE CLUELESS

Last week, as I was searching for a book in the stacks, I gravitated toward the most wonderful book. It is a must read for parents and students. Terry McMillan is hilarious with 23 commonsense tips for the college bound. If you are interested in reading something with humor along with gaining some insight about college life, I ask you to read this book. It is only 64 pages. Some of the little chapters that I enjoyed are the following:

Chapter 4: Read Anything and Everything

Chapter 6: Let The Insides Match Your Outsides

Chapter 9: Success Should Not Be Based On Fame or How Much Money You Make

You Are What You Eat

I was amazed at the information that this book contained. We need to be more aware of what we put into our bodies. For years, I have been wondering WHY I feel a certain way after I eat something or perhaps WHAT I could eat to help a health issue that I was having. I promise that this book will answer many common questions that we go to the doctor for. This book is written by an internationally acclaimed nutritionist and it contains information on food that stress and de-stress, top energy foods, pms & hormonal issues, supplement for weight loss, skin care, naughty foods, good and bad sweets, recipes, etc.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE

10th Anniversary Scholarship Bash

In photo: ProQuest CEO Marty Kahn and scholarship recipents

(IF YOU LOOK CLOSE, YOU WILL SEE ME).

I had a blast at the Art Institute of Chicago this summer!!! I made alot of new friends!!!

GOOD NEWS

I was awarded an additional $500 scholarship through UWM for the fall term.

THANKS AMANI

We appreciate you!

You did a wonderful job of coordinating all of the activities.

I can't wait until the next SUMMER INSTITUTE. I

hope we have many more great speakers who can INSPIRE US to become great librarians.

My LAMPER experience

I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the Summer Institute. I met new scholars who shared the same passion as I do about libraries. We encouraged each others and created lasting friendships. It was a satisfying experience.

The speakers were dynamic especially Traci Hall. She had so much energy and it permeated over to me. I could fully relate to her messages. One message that continues to ring in my ear is that" friction creates motion". Don't sweat the small stuff but welcome change. Change is what causes us to grow as individuals. It is completely okay to be in a work environment that is not ideal. Take advantage of the situation because it will prepare you for your future. Be real to yourself...seek a life for yourself which is gratifying. Don't allow yourself to be tied down to material things but travel light.

NEW ARRIVALS

I went to the mailbox this Saturday morning and was excited to see the new arrivals. UWM has given me free subscriptions to library journals. Let me say it again, for FREE. I will be receiving the School Library Journal and Library Journal for approximately 12-20 months. As soon as I arrived home, I highlighted all the programs that I would like to attend while at the ALA conference.

• Managing Libraries: I'm a Leader, I'm a Follower: Middle Management Theory and Practice
• FYE: Connecting First-Year College Students with the Library
• Bringing the Immersion Program Back Home
• Reinvent Your Professional Identity: How To Maximize Job Opportunities During a Down-Turned Economy
• Retaining Distance Students from Diverse Groups in Higher Education: How Can Libraries Help?
• Practical Tips on Dealing with the Most Challenging Library Patrons
• What Does Gaming Have To Do With Books, Anyway? Justifications for Games in Libraries
• When Is Nice Too Nice?
• Only for Passionate Librarians: Working in Rural and Small Libraries

And, it has a great article titled, "MLS: Hire Grounds?" that I read. So, I look forward to reading these journals as they come....hoping time will permit it.

LAMP SCHOLAR

I am so excited. I have been selected as a LAMP scholar. I will attend the 2009 LAMP Summer Institute, July 8 - 12, hosted this year by Dominican University, Graduate School of Library and Information Science, River Forest, Illinois. This is a great professional development and networking opportunity where I will attend workshops on library related topics, visit academic libraries and meet other LAMP scholars from partner schools in the Midwest. And , this year the LAMP Summer Institute includes two days of participation at the American Library Association Conference.

What is LAMP?

LIS Access Midwest Program (LAMP) is a regional network of academic libraries and information science schools dedicated to promoting careers within the field of library and information science (LIS) by encouraging promising undergraduate students at its member institutions to participate in activities and events designed to increase their awareness of the profession and to provide support for subsequent graduate studies in library and information science. LAMP seeks to employ a range of recruitment techniques including summer institutes and internships, peer and professional mentorship and guidance, and financial assistance for the completion of a Masters degree in LIS.

GRADES ARE IN

It's over!! I finished my first semester in grad school. I must admit it is challenging. I had no clue that it would require so much studying on my part. However, I can honestly say that I am learning due to the required readings and the depth of the curriculum.

FINAL GRADES:

A- (Introduction to Library and Information Science)
B (Organization of Information)


SUMMER SCHOOL IS AHEAD!!!

WHAT AM I LEARNING

What in the world is Metadata? Data about data. I am trying very hard to understand all of this. There is so much to comprehend that I am reading throughout the day and night. Even though, I have worked in libraries for almost 15 years; this is a very challenging class . I realize now that I need this degree to become more knowledgeable about library services.

Feeling Change; Commitments Don't

Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:8

A national magazine devoted its Valentine's Day issue to the subject of love. It reported on the results of a study done in a university research setting that revealed that the hormones that produce the warm sensation of being "in love" eventually lose their potency and wear out. Therefore higher and higher levels of the same hormone are required to produce the same feelings of exhilaration, dreaminess, and infatuation.

Their conclusion: It will take something other than high-voltage body chemistry to keep a couple together for a lifetime. The radioactive hormones that produce a "romantic high" just can't be sustained.

But where infatuation ends, real love begins. Let us encourage you to seek out an older couple you both know well who have a love relationship. Meet with them, ask them questions, and observe their behavior. You may not see the same dreamy-eyed emotions displayed that infatuation brings, but what you will observe is deep respect, a strong sense of attraction, and a deep satisfaction and joy just being together. Real love is just as exhilarating, if not more so, than adolescent hormone rushes. So be encouraged. Just because the infatuation stage may have ended, you haven't fallen out of love. Something far more precious, beautiful, and long lasting can take its place. It's called real love.

Today's Marriage Minute comes entirely from the book Marriage Minutes by Dr. Bob and Cheryl Moeller.

The OSCARS!!!

Four years ago, a friend and I made an effort to watch the oscar winning movies or just the nominated ones because it is such a big deal in Hollywood. We wanted to see what all the noise was about. We understood after we watched some of them. Just to name a few: Cold Mountain, Last Samurai, Gladiator, Crash, Departed, Lord of the Ring, Ray, Collateral, etc.

The depth of the storylines are what continues to hold my attention. Even though, many are nominated for best costumes,visual effects, music, and sound which are very important to some movie watchers but I love the plots. These movies challenge you to watch something out of your norm. And, I eagerly accept the challenge of learning new information.

Last year, I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button which was terrific...it moved me to tears. It was just so heartwarming!!! If you get a chance, go see Brad Pitt 's performance in this movie which won an Oscar. This year I plan on going to see Slumdog Millionaire which won 8 Oscars and best motion picture of the year. The other one I plan to watch is Reader with Kate Winslet.

Here is a quick reveiw from yahoo:

Slumdog Millionaire: The story of Jamal Malik, an 18 year-old orphan from the slums of Mumbai, who is about to experience the biggest day of his life. With the whole nation watching, he is just one question away from winning a staggering 20 million rupees on India's "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" But when the show breaks for the night, police arrest him on suspicion of cheating; how could a street kid know so much? Desperate to prove his innocence, Jamal tells the story of his life in the slum where he and his brother grew up, of their adventures together on the road, of vicious encounters with local gangs, and of Latika, the girl he loved and lost. Each chapter of his story reveals the key to the answer to one of the game show's questions. Intrigued by Jamal's story, the jaded Police Inspector begins to wonder what a young man with no apparent desire for riches is really doing on this game show? When the new day dawns and Jamal returns to answer the final question, the Inspector and sixty million viewers are about to find out...




The Reader: When he falls ill on his way home from school, 15 year-old Michael Berg is rescued by Hanna, a woman twice his age. The two begin an unexpected and passionate affair only for Hanna to suddenly and inexplicably disappear. Eight years later, Michael, now a young law student observing Nazi war trials, meets his former lover again, under very different circumstances. Hanna is on trial for a hideous crime, and as she refuses to defend herself, Michael gradually realizes his boyhood love may be guarding a secret she considers to be more shameful than murder.

Beauty Is In the Character, Not The Eyes Of The Beholder

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

Our culture worships beauty, youthful physique, and sex appeal. If you don't believe us, count the number of models over fifty years old used in television commercials (excluding the arthritis pain reliever ads). Or switch on Monday Night Football and count the number of wives or children portrayed. Chances are you won't find many there. Why? Because portraying the reality of the aging process and life's necessary commitments would pop the fantasy of good brews, good times, and good babes.

Far too many people choose their life's mate on the shaky premise that happiness and intimacy are the direct result of a muscular body of a shapely figure. Certainly physical beauty is one element of the mystery of love between a man and a woman. But it is meant only as a minor movement, not the basis for the entire symphony. As Proverbs aptly observes, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." It is the lasting character traits of faith, devotion, and obedience to God that gives a wife the traits a husband can love for a lifetime. Is culture's list or God's list more important to you?

Today's Marriage Minute comes entirely from the book Marriage Minutes by Dr. Bob and Cheryl Moeller.

BACK TO SCHOOL

I started my online classes this week through the University of Wisconsin and the syllabus looks overwhelming. I am only taking two classes but wish I had the time to take another one. I need 12 classes to have a Masters in Library and Information Science and I am anticipating it very much. I just want to finish as quickly as possible. I have been in school for so long. It is time for me to become a professional librarian and it will happen soon. For this semester, I am taking Foundation of Library & Information Science and Organization of Information. I have learned so much in just two weeks by just participating in the discussion board with my classmates. Many have years of library experience which makes the discussion so much more interesting. So, I am excited to be learning all of this information. Yet, nervous about some aspects of the assignments because I have no knowledge of Metadata. However, I expect to be well-prepared when I am done with school.

For now, I will not be writing as much in this blog due to my courseload. However, I will keep you posted on my life which will be mostly doing homework and a good read when I get an opportunity.

FUNNY MATHEMATICS

I received this through email from a friend and thought they were hilarious.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Marley and Me: A Suprising Message on the Value of Marriage and Family

By Dave Boehi
Marriage Memo, Family Life

I like pleasant surprises when I see a movie. So many films fail to live up to their potential—they’re too long, or too strange and dark, or too poorly-written. It’s rare when a movie is better than I expected, or when a film unexpectedly echoes many of the values that guide my life.

This was the case with Marley and Me. My wife, Merry, and I expected to see a lightweight comedy about a married couple trying to control a lively dog. But the film is much more than that—it also is a surprisingly honest look at the pressures that many couples face during the first dozen years of marriage. By focusing on the choices that Josh and Jenny Grogan make about career and children, the film affirms the value of commitment and the joy of family.

Other writers have mentioned that Marley and Me is much more than it appears to be in its own television advertisements. “Don’t be fooled by the trailers that coyly make Marley and Me out to be some lighthearted tale of canine hijinks,” writes Christa Banister on Crosswalk.com. “Unlike most Hollywood movies, Marley and Me also provides a realistic, yet thoroughly praiseworthy endorsement for marriage … John and Jenny have chosen to honor their marriage vows no matter where the journey takes them. It’s a solid message that underscores the importance of family—with or without a menacing canine in the picture.”

Two threads in the movie underscored this theme in a powerful way. One follows the choice Jenny makes to give up her career in journalism to raise her children full-time. After their second son is born, and feeling the stress of raising two children, she launches into an emotional tirade and questions whether she gave up too much. It is raw and honest, and it reminded me of the exhaustion and pressure Merry and I felt after our second child was born.

The second thread in the film was the feeling of discontent Josh feels about his own career choices. He writes a popular newspaper column (often focusing on the antics of his dog Marley), but he enviously watches his single friend Sebastian travel around the globe as a reporter. As the story progresses Sebastian becomes a picture of what life would have looked like if Josh had made different choices about his marriage and family. Josh tells Jenny, “None of this was part of the plan,” and she replies, “No, but it’s so much better.”

Marley and Me has struck a chord with America’s movie-going public—it was the top holiday movie and by last week had earned over $125 million at the box office. I should note that although it’s billed as a family film, it fully earns its PG rating with some language and sensuality, plus a sad sequence about the death of a dog that will disturb some children.

The movie has received mixed ratings from critics, with a number criticizing it for the very things that I like. “Although the Grogans have their spats, one of which drive John temporarily out of the house, the screenplay glosses over their domestic crises to convey the fantasy of a marriage that is mostly smooth sailing…” writes Stephen Holden of the New York Times.

I suppose that some people don’t consider a family “realistic” in a movie unless it is beset with neuroses, dysfunction, and hidden secrets. As for me, I like seeing a positive portrayal for once—and I know from experience that a marriage like this is not a fantasy at all.

I JUST LOVED THIS MOVIE....MY MOM AND I CRIED AND LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY, PLEASE GO SEE IT.

Are you Passively Aggressive?

Recently, I was asked to look up the term "passively aggressive" because perhaps this is ME. After reading the information on this style of communication, I was quite shocked.

Here are a few of the characteristics of a passive-aggressive communicator.

• You manipulate others to choose your way.
• YOu appear honest but underlying comments confuse.
• You tend towards indirectness with the air of being direct.
• You are self-enchanting but not straight forward about it.
• If you don't get your way you'll make snide comments or pout and be the victim.
• You feel confused, unclear on how to feel, you are angry but not sure why. Later you possibly feel guilty.

So, I just kept searching sites and reading until I came across this one called helloquizzy which allowed me to take the passive aggressive test and here are the results.

Your result for The are you overtly or passively aggressive Test...

Nice person!

1 overtly aggressive, 2 passive aggressive

There is usually an appropriate way to act in every situation. And you are rather good at doing that. You don't take things out on people, and you don't try to make their lives miserable. Nice job.

You scored low in both overt and passive forms of aggression. The world could use more people like you!

To see if you lean towards being passive or overtly aggressive, look at your scores below. Anything over 2 shows at least a slight tendency!

Take the are you overtly or passively aggressive Test