ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
FUNNY MATHEMATICS
I received this through email from a friend and thought they were hilarious.
Marley and Me: A Suprising Message on the Value of Marriage and Family
By Dave Boehi
Marriage Memo, Family Life
I like pleasant surprises when I see a movie. So many films fail to live up to their potential—they’re too long, or too strange and dark, or too poorly-written. It’s rare when a movie is better than I expected, or when a film unexpectedly echoes many of the values that guide my life.
This was the case with Marley and Me. My wife, Merry, and I expected to see a lightweight comedy about a married couple trying to control a lively dog. But the film is much more than that—it also is a surprisingly honest look at the pressures that many couples face during the first dozen years of marriage. By focusing on the choices that Josh and Jenny Grogan make about career and children, the film affirms the value of commitment and the joy of family.
Other writers have mentioned that Marley and Me is much more than it appears to be in its own television advertisements. “Don’t be fooled by the trailers that coyly make Marley and Me out to be some lighthearted tale of canine hijinks,” writes Christa Banister on Crosswalk.com. “Unlike most Hollywood movies, Marley and Me also provides a realistic, yet thoroughly praiseworthy endorsement for marriage … John and Jenny have chosen to honor their marriage vows no matter where the journey takes them. It’s a solid message that underscores the importance of family—with or without a menacing canine in the picture.”
Two threads in the movie underscored this theme in a powerful way. One follows the choice Jenny makes to give up her career in journalism to raise her children full-time. After their second son is born, and feeling the stress of raising two children, she launches into an emotional tirade and questions whether she gave up too much. It is raw and honest, and it reminded me of the exhaustion and pressure Merry and I felt after our second child was born.
The second thread in the film was the feeling of discontent Josh feels about his own career choices. He writes a popular newspaper column (often focusing on the antics of his dog Marley), but he enviously watches his single friend Sebastian travel around the globe as a reporter. As the story progresses Sebastian becomes a picture of what life would have looked like if Josh had made different choices about his marriage and family. Josh tells Jenny, “None of this was part of the plan,” and she replies, “No, but it’s so much better.”
Marley and Me has struck a chord with America’s movie-going public—it was the top holiday movie and by last week had earned over $125 million at the box office. I should note that although it’s billed as a family film, it fully earns its PG rating with some language and sensuality, plus a sad sequence about the death of a dog that will disturb some children.
The movie has received mixed ratings from critics, with a number criticizing it for the very things that I like. “Although the Grogans have their spats, one of which drive John temporarily out of the house, the screenplay glosses over their domestic crises to convey the fantasy of a marriage that is mostly smooth sailing…” writes Stephen Holden of the New York Times.
I suppose that some people don’t consider a family “realistic” in a movie unless it is beset with neuroses, dysfunction, and hidden secrets. As for me, I like seeing a positive portrayal for once—and I know from experience that a marriage like this is not a fantasy at all.
I JUST LOVED THIS MOVIE....MY MOM AND I CRIED AND LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY, PLEASE GO SEE IT.
Marriage Memo, Family Life
I like pleasant surprises when I see a movie. So many films fail to live up to their potential—they’re too long, or too strange and dark, or too poorly-written. It’s rare when a movie is better than I expected, or when a film unexpectedly echoes many of the values that guide my life.
This was the case with Marley and Me. My wife, Merry, and I expected to see a lightweight comedy about a married couple trying to control a lively dog. But the film is much more than that—it also is a surprisingly honest look at the pressures that many couples face during the first dozen years of marriage. By focusing on the choices that Josh and Jenny Grogan make about career and children, the film affirms the value of commitment and the joy of family.
Other writers have mentioned that Marley and Me is much more than it appears to be in its own television advertisements. “Don’t be fooled by the trailers that coyly make Marley and Me out to be some lighthearted tale of canine hijinks,” writes Christa Banister on Crosswalk.com. “Unlike most Hollywood movies, Marley and Me also provides a realistic, yet thoroughly praiseworthy endorsement for marriage … John and Jenny have chosen to honor their marriage vows no matter where the journey takes them. It’s a solid message that underscores the importance of family—with or without a menacing canine in the picture.”
Two threads in the movie underscored this theme in a powerful way. One follows the choice Jenny makes to give up her career in journalism to raise her children full-time. After their second son is born, and feeling the stress of raising two children, she launches into an emotional tirade and questions whether she gave up too much. It is raw and honest, and it reminded me of the exhaustion and pressure Merry and I felt after our second child was born.
The second thread in the film was the feeling of discontent Josh feels about his own career choices. He writes a popular newspaper column (often focusing on the antics of his dog Marley), but he enviously watches his single friend Sebastian travel around the globe as a reporter. As the story progresses Sebastian becomes a picture of what life would have looked like if Josh had made different choices about his marriage and family. Josh tells Jenny, “None of this was part of the plan,” and she replies, “No, but it’s so much better.”
Marley and Me has struck a chord with America’s movie-going public—it was the top holiday movie and by last week had earned over $125 million at the box office. I should note that although it’s billed as a family film, it fully earns its PG rating with some language and sensuality, plus a sad sequence about the death of a dog that will disturb some children.
The movie has received mixed ratings from critics, with a number criticizing it for the very things that I like. “Although the Grogans have their spats, one of which drive John temporarily out of the house, the screenplay glosses over their domestic crises to convey the fantasy of a marriage that is mostly smooth sailing…” writes Stephen Holden of the New York Times.
I suppose that some people don’t consider a family “realistic” in a movie unless it is beset with neuroses, dysfunction, and hidden secrets. As for me, I like seeing a positive portrayal for once—and I know from experience that a marriage like this is not a fantasy at all.
I JUST LOVED THIS MOVIE....MY MOM AND I CRIED AND LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY, PLEASE GO SEE IT.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Are you Passively Aggressive?
Recently, I was asked to look up the term "passively aggressive" because perhaps this is ME. After reading the information on this style of communication, I was quite shocked.
Here are a few of the characteristics of a passive-aggressive communicator.
- You manipulate others to choose your way.
- YOu appear honest but underlying comments confuse.
- You tend towards indirectness with the air of being direct.
- You are self-enchanting but not straight forward about it.
- If you don't get your way you'll make snide comments or pout and be the victim.
- You feel confused, unclear on how to feel, you are angry but not sure why. Later you possibly feel guilty.
So, I just kept searching sites and reading until I came across this one called helloquizzy which allowed me to take the passive aggressive test and here are the results.
Your result for The are you overtly or passively aggressive Test...
Nice person!
1 overtly aggressive, 2 passive aggressive
You scored low in both overt and passive forms of aggression. The world could use more people like you!
To see if you lean towards being passive or overtly aggressive, look at your scores below. Anything over 2 shows at least a slight tendency!
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