40/40 PRAYER VIGIL

The 40/40 Prayer Vigil consists of 40 days of prayer from September 24 to November 2, 2008, culminating in 40 hours of around the clock intercession during the last 3 days of the Vigil. The Vigil focuses first on personal spiritual revival. It then covers an expanding circle of prayer concerns, from the church to the nation.

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10 Things I Want My Husband To Know...and How To Tell HIm

"10 Things I Want My Husband to Know... and How to Tell Him," is an excellent book. Every chapter will hold your attention. It has pertinent information that wives need to know and then DO. Written by Annie Chapman, a wife of 30 years who uses the scriptures and the lives of other women to provide insight on your OWN marriage. There were several chapters that really touched me personally. The following were:

• Chapter 9 : I Respect Him. This is a BIG issue to men. In fact, this chapter is written to the point that you WILL understand how important RESPECT is to a man.

In the book, a brief letter from a husband to his wife clearly states what RESPECT is to him. He writes, the way you have accepted and loved my family and my heritage, the unwavering devotion you have shown to caring for our two children( and now their mates and kids), how you tend to our home and house, and the sweat you have invested in caring for the material things we steward, are signs of your respect for me. Your encouraging comments about the work I do and how you faithfully stand beside me as a co-laborer, your acceptance of the play I enjoy, your carefulness with money and the way you share my disdain for debt-these things tell me you respect me.

• Chapter 3: I Am Sexually Available to Him. Wives should not withhold sex from their spouses. It is a commandment from the Word.
  
• Chapter 7: I Will Support and Embrace His Hobbies and Friends. Wives need to support their husbands' hobbies and friends. It is important to men for their wives to spend time with them while they are engaging in their hobbies. It is also important for wives to let their husbands have some solitude. Men need time apart from work and their wives.

It reminds me of my ex-husband wanting me to watch TV with him, ride the four-wheeler with him and other outside activities. But, I was not interested. After reading all this information, I NOW understand the importance of doing this with him. It would have made him feel valued. Also, we need to encourage our husbands to develop and seek friendship with godly men who love God.

• Chapter 5: I Admire the Way He Provides for Our Family: The culprit that brings most couples to a divorce is MONEY. Therefore, make an effort as a wife to support your husband in "making a life" and not in making a killing". Help him in any way possible to save money, cut expenses and create financial freedom for the future. Years ago, when a couple purchased a home, it was their intentions to live in that home until they died. However, today, couples are calling them "starter homes". Families have multiple cars and garages. Some spend thousands of dollars on plastic utensils instead of doing the dishes. Not to mention, the cost of eating out. Wives tell your husbands that you appreciate them. And, please work together to control debt. This will alleviate some overspending, emotionally and spiritually neglect. What an insightful chapter this is!

• Chapter 2: I Acknowledge Him as the God-Appointed Leader of Our Family: I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter because it discussed submission. Submission is something that a lot of women have a problem with. Yet, this chapter examines that submitting to your husband is actually submitting to God. It means to "serve with a positive motive for the Lord's sake, to voluntarily serve out of a willing spirit. The wife's purpose is to be a helper to her husband. They are to work together as one.

A wonderful illustration in the book is of two horses. The winner horse pulled 4,500 pounds. The first runner-up pulled 4,000 pounds. But when harnessed together the two horses pulled over 12,000 pounds. In the same way, husband and wife are much stronger, more able,and much more profitable when they pull together. It is completely opposite of being enslaved or dominated. It creates order in the family. The order designated by God is not about value or worth but order. As every well-functioning organization has to have a chain of command so does the family.

Make an opportunity to read this book and see how life-changing this will be in your life!

The Family That Preys

Could you be disrespecting your husband and not know it? Well, very often men feel rejected instead of respected. According to the book, "10 things I Want My Husband To Know...and How to Tell Him," several hundred women were questioned, "What is one thing you do that makes your husband angry?" Their responses were the following:

• He hates it when I comment and give an opinion before I know all the facts.
• He gets upset when I make him account for money he spends.
• My husband hates to go to bed alone. I like to stay up late. This is a source of conflict between us.
• He hates it when I give all my effort at work and then neglect the house and bills. He feels like I care more about everyone else than I care about him.
• He gets angry when I withhold sex.
• He gets upset when I try to control everything, even down to the smallest detail.

In other words, some of these women were DISRESPECTING their husband and not knowing. And, no woman who loves her husband would intentionally do this since they are one flesh. And, we love ourselves.

This bring me to the movie, "The Family That Preys". I saw it twice last week because I enjoyed it so much. Yet, the men that I spoke to about the movie previously to me going did not think it was ALL THAT. I wondered why they said that since Tyler Perry 's movies are always EXCELLENT. All his movies convey powerful messages to the audience that need to be heard. Well, after seeing the movie, I knew why the men felt that way.

In this movie, the husband was disrespected by his wife. The husband was a passive, hard working, blue collar worker who loved and trusted his wife. His wife was a college graduate who was very selfish and wanted more wealth than her husband had to offer at that time. So, her longing for more led her to being unhappy at home which led her to committing infidelity. On every Wednesday, she met her lover in a luxurious hotel room. Hoping that he would leave his wife but she got a shocker at the end of the movie. And, the child who was conceived during the marriage was not her husband but her lover. Can you imagine how the husband felt to find this out? Also, she had a secret bank account which had over $250,000 in it...not willing to share. Yet, knowing that her husband was interested in starting a business for the family. She did not allow him to show affection toward her. It just continued...the DISRESPECT throughout the movie. She was tearing her husband down despite him trying to love her and provide for her. She even told him that he was incapable of achieving his dream like owning his own construction business like he desired.

In the movie, there were many scenes that showed disrespect and that bothered me greatly like the wife telling the husband not to talk to anyone at the company's party because she did not want to be embarrassed. Or, the scene where she told him that he could never be like her lover because he was not smart, he stuttered, and did not have a degree. These scenes created many sounds of disbelief among the audience because it was shocking to hear and see-THE TOTAL DISRESPECT that the wife had for the husband.

According to the book, 10 Things I Want My Husband to Know...and How to Tell Him, by Annie Chapman, in one national study, four hundred men were given a choice between going through two different negative experiences. If they were forced to choose one of the following, which would they prefer to endure?

• To be left alone and unloved in the world
• To feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone

Seventy-four percent of these men said that if they were forced to choose, they would prefer being alone and unloved in the world. For these men, the greater negative experience for their souls to endure would be to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone

Bottom Line: A Man Want To Be Respected and A Wife Should Do This