Monday, September 22, 2008

FIREPROOF YOUR MARRIAGE

OPENING ON FRIDAY AT YOUR LOCAL THEATER!
I CAN NOT WAIT TO SEE IT.

FIREPROOF is the third feature film from Sherwood Pictures the creators of FACING THE GIANTS and FLYWHEEL. With hope-filled, heartfelt storytelling, the movie making ministry of Sherwood Baptist Church continues to touch the world from Albany, Georgia.

Storyline:

At work, inside burning buildings, Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old fire fighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. At home, in the cooling embers of his marriage, he lives by his own rules.

Growing up, Catherine Holt always dreamed of marrying a loving, brave firefighter...just like her daddy. Now, after seven years of marriage, Catherine wonders when she stopped being "good enough" for her husband. Regular arguments over jobs, finances, housework, and outside interests have readied them both to move on to something with more sparks.

As the couple prepares to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day experiment: "The Love Dare." Wondering if it's even worth the effort, Caleb agrees-for his father's sake more than for his marriage. When Caleb discovers the book's daily challenges are tied into his parents' new found faith, his already limited interest is further dampened.

While trying to stay true to his promise, Caleb becomes frustrated time and again. He finally asks his father, "How am I supposed to show love to somebody who constantly rejects me?" When his father explains that this is the love Christ shows to us, Caleb makes a life-changing commitment to love God. And ith God's help he begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife.

But is it too late to fireproof his marriage? His job is to rescue others. Now Caleb Holt is ready to face his toughest job ever...rescuing his wife's heart.

DO YOU KNOW THE FIVE LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION?

Last year, I attended the two-day "I Promise" marriage seminar with Dr. Gary Smalley in Memphis and enjoyed it thoroughly. I felt sort of uncomfortable going since I was single but after listening to what he had to say the first night, I knew that I needed to be there. This was something that I could apply in my life immediately with my family and friends. What raised my level of interest was his discussion about the five levels of communication. I had never heard this before. It revealed to me that I did not go through these levels with my spouse. We lacked much in the communication area. You think you know someone because you dated for years before you married. But, there is more to a marriage than the wedding day, living together, having children, going to social events together, etc. Communication is required to keep intimacy in the relationship. According to the book, Secrets to Lasting Love, the five levels of intimate communication are the following:


  • Sharing cliches with each other: This is surface talk. You are engaging in almost meaningless chatter. For instance, "Hey, how are you, how are you doing?", asks one spouse, "Okay, great, no problem," replies the other. Guess what, you can do this with a stranger so make an effort to do more in your relationship.

  • Sharing facts with each other: You are talking about the weather, the office, what's going on with your friends. This is safe talk because it is not requiring no deep breathing, thinking, or feeling. Guess what, you can do this with a stranger so make an effort to do more in your relationship.

  • Sharing opinions with each other. This includes discussing individual opinions, concerns, and expectations. This is where conflict occurs because of the differences in opinions, concerns, and expectations. The conflict normally comes from the differences in the upbringing. At this level, the relationship is vulnerable.

Did you know that most couples only get to the second and third level of communication?


  • Sharing your deepest and truest feeling with each other. At this level, you help each other feel safe to share your deepest thoughts and emotions. There is an understanding between the two of you that efforts will be made to listen to one another.

  • Sharing your most important relational NEEDS with each other. This is the deepest level of communication that can be achieved in a relationship. You feel safe with this person to reveal your unique needs with each other.

This information was profound to ME. It helped me get through some of my troubled friendships. So, regardless if it is a romantic or no-romantic relationship, the way to get to know someone is through communication. Communicators need to be open and honest with one another...not afraid to reveal who they are to each other.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

WHICH ONE ARE YOU?






Sanguine? Melancholy? Phlegmatic? Choleric?



Do these names mean anything to you? These are personality types that we all have. I never knew which one I was until reading this book. Well, actually, a friend had been discussing this with me because of our constant disagreements and it was completely foreign to me. This is what led to the reading of this book. The result was that I was amazed to find out so much about myself and others. It revealed to me why I am so bothered by some people and why I just get along so well with others.

Moreover, this book revealed to me how to deal with other personalities successfully. And, how I would be as a parent, co-worker, friend, and even my EMOTIONS based upon my personality. Also, I liked the examples of problems that were given and then the solutions on how to handle them. And, these solutions were great. In my opinion, they created respect and boundaries between the parties.


The self-test in this book revealed that I am a Choleric/Phlegmatic person. I agree because for years I have been goal-oriented and not easily discouraged. And, I am a very peaceful, easygoing and relaxed person.

However, I must admit though that I have become balanced in some areas that does not characterize a Phlegmatic person. Growing into a mature person, I have revolved into a more balanced person which reflects some characteristics of a Melancholy and a Sanguine as well. For instance, I am making efforts to keep home in good order (cleaning), sacrifice own will for others , have a sense of humor and be cheerful despite whatever.

Take the on-line test and find out what your personality type is!