Are you Passively Aggressive?

Recently, I was asked to look up the term "passively aggressive" because perhaps this is ME. After reading the information on this style of communication, I was quite shocked.

Here are a few of the characteristics of a passive-aggressive communicator.

• You manipulate others to choose your way.
• YOu appear honest but underlying comments confuse.
• You tend towards indirectness with the air of being direct.
• You are self-enchanting but not straight forward about it.
• If you don't get your way you'll make snide comments or pout and be the victim.
• You feel confused, unclear on how to feel, you are angry but not sure why. Later you possibly feel guilty.

So, I just kept searching sites and reading until I came across this one called helloquizzy which allowed me to take the passive aggressive test and here are the results.

Your result for The are you overtly or passively aggressive Test...

Nice person!

1 overtly aggressive, 2 passive aggressive

There is usually an appropriate way to act in every situation. And you are rather good at doing that. You don't take things out on people, and you don't try to make their lives miserable. Nice job.

You scored low in both overt and passive forms of aggression. The world could use more people like you!

To see if you lean towards being passive or overtly aggressive, look at your scores below. Anything over 2 shows at least a slight tendency!

Take the are you overtly or passively aggressive Test

The Real Message

Today's Seeking Him Devotional with Nancy Leigh DeMoss

As the Christmas season was approaching one year, I talked with a woman whose husband was in bondage to some destructive, sinful behavior. I’d been meditating on the message delivered by the angel Gabriel to Mary. He said, “You shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”

I encouraged this wife, “Remember that Jesus came to save your husband from his sin.” The story of Christmas brings hope to real-world situations. “Joy to the world” is more than just a Christmas cliché. It’s the real message of a real Savior born to solve real problems.

Are you facing problems this season that threaten to outweigh your joy? Don’t forget that the ultimate solution to these problems is the Savior who came to rescue us from sin and lead us into a right relationship with God. So turn to the only one who can provide true peace.

He's Just Not That Into You

I am re-visiting this book which came out in 2004. If you are wondering, if a guy is really into YOU. I suggest that you read this book and you will be shocked to learn that we make excuses for guys when they give us the cold shoulder. Pay attention to what they are doing instead of what they are saying. Here is a synopsis from Publishers Weekly:

It’s a classic single-woman scenario: you really like this guy, but he’s giving mixed messages. You make excuses, decide he’s confused, afraid of commitment. Behrendt, a former executive story editor for Sex and the City—and a formerly single (now happily married) guy who knows all the excuses—provides a simple answer: he’s just not that into you. Stop kidding yourself, let go and look for someone else who will be. After all, as Behrendt sensibly puts it, "if a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way." If you’re not convinced yet, by all means read this smart, funny and surprisingly upbeat little book, full of q’s and a’s covering every excuse woman has ever made to avoid admitting to herself that a man just wasn’t that smitten with her.

How Do I Set Priorities?

Telephone answering machine: This is Seeking Him with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Please leave your question at the tone. (Beep)

“My husband and I are trying to think through our schedules, and we’re trying to decide whether or not I should take a job. How do I make such a big decision?

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: As with all big decisions, the first place to turn is the Word of God. I’d look, for example, at Titus 2:4-5. It says women are to “love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be keepers (or workers) at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands.”

As you make a decision, ask yourself some questions based on those verses. For example, will a job outside the home interfere with your ability to serve your husband and children? Will it keep you from fulfilling your responsibilities at home? Just be sure your decision is based on God’s priorities for your life.

With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Mistotle for Marriage- 25 days of Comfort and Joy

MOMENTS WITH YOU

Master Builders

by Barbara Rainey

When your marriage relationship hits a trouble spot, it may be difficult to find much to praise about each other. Yet those are the times we need praise the most. So I urge you to initiate praising your spouse. Make it a deliberate effort. Bring the power of positive words to him or her in the midst of trouble.

In the verse above, the author (who may have been Solomon) gave some very descriptive characteristics of well-spoken words. When you choose to encourage and praise your spouse, your words carry the ability to prod, or goad, him or her in the right direction. And notice the result: Those words become like “well-driven nails,” the kind that secure all types of building projects.

In the hands of God, your words can be used like nails to secure your mate’s self-esteem. Your wise and truthful words bring perspective to his or her life, to your relationship and to your situation as a couple. They make finding solutions to your problems a real possibility.

You may be asking, “What if all this praise goes to my spouse’s head? Won’t he become prideful?” There’s a difference between truthful praise and flattery. Flattery gratifies a person’s vanity, but praise is based on a person’s character and deeds. When you truthfully praise and applaud your spouse’s choices, you reinforce the value of building godly character.

Paul exhorts us, “Speak truth each one of you with his neighbor” (Ephesians 4:25). A keyword in that phrase is “truth,” which is the only real standard for bringing value to another person. Truth results in assurance and security, in worth and value. It becomes the compass during the storm that confidently steers us in the right direction.

So praise your spouse in all situations, using wisdom to meet the need of the moment, speaking truthfully to help construct character. Your words of affirmation can help rebuild what life has torn apart.

Discuss
What’s been blocking the flow of affirming words in your relationship? Share three real compliments with each other.


Pray
Pray for a heart that longs to build up, not tear down.

Have You Ever Wondered If You Married The Wrong Person?

Pastor Bob Moeller is not a licensed psychologist or marriage therapist. However,he is a Pastor-at-Large with MarriageVine Ministries, a ministry designed to help couples remain consistently in the vine of Jesus Christ.

Here is his opinion on this if you are wrestling with this thought!!


It’s not uncommon when couples are struggling with their marriage to wonder if you made the right choice when you got married. Doubts such as these are normal and natural and are usually temporary in nature and pass on. There are clearly situations in Scripture where we are told not to marry certain people (such as the result of an adulterous affair or where one person is a believer and the other is not). Assuming that’s not the case, let’s look at how you can put an end to the nagging idea you married the wrong person.

You can find peace of mind and relief from your stress by going back to one of the most basic teachings of the Bible: God is in control of our lives (the technical word is sovereignty). That means nothing happens in life without God’s permission or ultimate say in the matter. Let’s get to the place where the Bible speaks directly to your worry that you married the wrong person found in Genesis chapter 2, “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man (verse 22).” Did you catch that? God Himself fashioned, designed, and created the very first wife for the very first man. The Creator of the Universe created the very first woman exactly with Adam in mind (and vice versa).

Which brings me to my first prescription: Stop repeating the thought you married the wrong person and instead three times a day thank God for creating the person you married just as He did. You can relax and take comfort in the fact that God, in His infinite wisdom and love, designed and fashioned the person you married with you in mind (and vice versa).

This leads me to my second prescription: Whenever you are assaulted by doubts that you married the wrong person, stop and repeat these simple words, “And God brought her to the man.” Do this each and every time you struggle with doubts and you will find yourself looking at your mate in a whole way. “So this really is the person God had in mind in me…” will replace the ugly and discouraging thought you are mismatched and in the wrong marriage. Again, the basic biblical truth behind this prescription for peace of mind is this: God is sovereign. That means He is in complete control of all the events of our lives, including who you married.

Even if you are going through a difficult time in your relationship, you can rest in the fact Jesus Christ is directing the course of your lives – past, present and future.

Prescriptions For Healthy Marriages

Focus on the Family has a long list of resources for married couples to enjoy. Take a look at the resources available and surprise your mate with one. Here are a few of the books on the list that I especially like:

1. Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti,
2. Boundaries In Marriage
3. For Women Only: What You Need To Know About The Inner Lives Of Men
4. The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate
5. Moments With You: Daily Connections For Couples